Wednesday, February 15, 2012

32 Weeks...and 33

I dont know why I have been such a slacker the last trimester, maybe because Im just tired and gigantic and work too much. By the time I get home I just want to spend time with the hubby then crash. However Im going to stick with it these last few weeks and hopefully beyond. I really want to save more precious memories than I did with Jordan. I should have written more down with her but somehow I thought Id just remember stuff...not so much.

At my 32 week appointment on Feb 2nd I had another ultrasound. I decided to take Jordan to see her little brother since derek had to work. Over all she did well but as most little kids she was bored after the inital 5minutes. We actually got to see some cool shots of him! He was so stinkin cute jumpin all around in there. He showed his little face more this time and even stuck his foot up by his face haha. Think he is getting pretty cramped in there! He was weighing about 4lbs 5oz (roughly) and had a strong heartbeat right around 150bpm. Nice and healthy!

I havent been having as strong/regular contractions that I was before so that is good news. I still get them everyday but I think most of them are normal. Every once in a while I will have an off day where I have them all day long but typically only once or twice a week. Im glad they were able to postpone my labor but I have to say I still hope he comes either the end of the month or the begining of march. I am so big and everyone keeps asking if Im due any day. Even though it has gotten old and im sick of having the same conversation...I know I do look huge. I look due...but that has to do with all the extra fluid. (which by the way hadnt gone down...they think it maybe even went up to 27.5 from my last ultrasound when it was at 26.) I am all out front and quite a bit bigger than I was with Jordan that Im starting to get some stretch marks...UGH I think my body just cant possibly get any bigger and stretch out. It feels like my stomach is going to rip open all the time from the pressure. I really feel bad for anyone with multiples, I dont even want to imagine!

Other than that nothing has changed much I am up 20lbs of weight gain so far, right around 145, and the only new symptom lately is heartburn! OMG the only time I get it is late at night while im asleep, always about 3am. Its terrible, and happens almost every night now. Im not very happy with this new development...I never had that with Jordan. UGH

Oh and just a little rant about pinehurst surgical for a minute. 1st doctor says im measuring a week small back in dec. 2nd doctor says in Jan that im measuring 2 weeks ahead with alot of extra fluid. Then 3rd doctor says baby is measuring right on schedule and so am I, though I still do have extra fluid that they are going to continue to monitor. (which no one can figure out why since I have no pregnancy related issues) ...they are so so so frustrating. No matter where we live or what is going on when we have our next one I will NOT be going back there for this reason and a list of others.

  

Our little man! :) cant wait to meet him!

Nothing at all changed at my 33 week appointment. They were so behind he literally took my BP-normal. Then listened to the heartbeat and measured my belly and all looked great. Then he sent me on my way (and so quickly that they forgot to give me my shot for the week) though I was in a hurry because Jordan split her eye open while I was there. So that maybe it for the shots since I missed one? not sure how that will work, though I seem to be just fine. I have to say...I would love to end them because they are pretty painful, so Im sorta hoping they dont try to stick me again tomorrow.

Tomorrow, feb 16th ill be 34 weeks and I get another follow up ultrasound to see how little guy is doing so hopefully Ill have some more cool pictures to post next week! I cant wait to see him!!

((Oh and just a quick last side note...my friend megan who has been my pregnancy buddy the whole time is in delivery right now!!! She was 41 weeks today and little Liam finally decided to make an entrance! Im soooo happy for them and cant wait to see some pictures of him!!! I am a little jealous and axious at the same time! Cant believe im getting close enough to bring my little guy home!! CONGRATS Megan and Keith!!<3 ))

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Thought cloud

I figured I should actually be using this more to write out things Im feeling and experiencing than just and update blog. Maybe even vent a little. Just been having a lot of stirring going on lately. I dont know why, but it seems Im never satisfied with what Im doing, yet I cant seem to commit to an idea of what I want to do with my life. I have enrolled in several universities and started programs only to quit them. Im not lazy or uninterested. I just really really strongly feel that unless what im doing is physically, emotionally, or any other way actually helping someone then the job has no meaning and doesnt matter. I cant commit and go to school to a do a job that means nothing. Desk work...totally unimportant. Accountant type work...equally unimportant. I mean that stuff is important for a minute or two for someone somewhere im sure. But tomorrow, what you did today wont matter, its just old filed paperwork. I just cant imagine doing a job like that, it literally depresses me just thinking about it. The thing that really sucks is that about 90% of jobs are this exact thing im trying to stay away from. Just keeping companies and businesses functioning.

I really truely feel like I am suppose to be doing something really important, and I just cant settle. I think about it constantly. I know one day I will finally figure it out and it will have been so obvious...but right now its driving me crazy. Its not just running my own little daycare business or maybe not even finishing school, but it will be something big...that helps alot of people. I like the idea behind missionary/volunteer work in other countries but as passtionate as am about this idea, im equally as passionate of my family, and I know whatever I do it will have to work around my family because they come first. So, im thinking traveling isnt practical for me.

I have had several people tell me just to get a job and then volunteer in my spare time to do something as a 'hobby'....yeah this isnt a hobby desire. I cant just volunteer at a soup kitchen and making shoeboxes at christmas. That is all great stuff but I know that wont satisfy what I have going on inside.
I dont know that I have much more to add to this because I really have no idea what it is im suppose to be doing....but I feel like Ill know soon. God has a really good thing in mind for me...just waiting to see what it is for now I guess. I feel like I have been stuck in this waiting game for about 4 years now.....any day now God...
Ill be here.....